Helping Children with Fear — When My Child Feels Afraid
- naumitarishi
- Sep 15
- 2 min read
Behind every fear is a child looking for safety and reassurance
Arti saw the neighbour’s dog barking and running toward her. Her mind jumped instantly: “Oh no, he will bite me.” Fear surged through her body — her heart pounded, her hands shook, and she felt frozen. Within seconds, she screamed and leapt onto the sofa, clutching her father’s arm, crying, “Make it go away!”
Understanding why fear happens
Fear is the body’s alarm system — a response to immediate threat. In children, it often appears when:
Loud noises or sudden movement (thunder, fireworks, barking dogs) trigger survival instincts.
Unfamiliar situations (getting lost, dark rooms, new places) feel unsafe.
Past experiences make danger cues stronger (if bitten once, every bark feels threatening).
Unlike anxiety, which is about imagined or future threats, fear is rooted in the here and now. It’s the body saying: “Protect yourself — danger is close.”
Challenges parents face
When children are fearful, parents may feel torn between comforting and teaching. Common doubts include:
Should I remove them from the situation or encourage them to face it?
Am I making the fear worse by protecting too much?
How do I help them calm down when their body is in overdrive?
These struggles can lead to over-reassurance or avoidance, which may accidentally strengthen the fear.
What parents can do
Stay calm yourself: Your calmness becomes their anchor.
Acknowledge the fear: “That barking scared you — I understand.”
Offer safety first: Step aside from the immediate threat before teaching.
Help decode the chain: Talk through trigger → thought → feeling → action.
Teach coping tools: Deep breaths, grounding (“You’re safe now”), and gradual exposure (see the dog from a distance, then closer).
How Feeling Decoder helps
The Feeling Decoder: Agent in Training workbook turns fear into a mission. Children learn to recognise body alarms, spot automatic thoughts like “The dog will bite me,” and practise alternative responses. With secret-agent style stories and activities, fear becomes less overwhelming — more like a puzzle they can investigate.
Closing thoughtful insight
Fear isn’t weakness — it’s protection. When children decode their fears with support, they discover that bravery is not the absence of fear, but learning how to face it.
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